EPISODE PLOTS
WITNESS PROTECTION
When federal agents reserve a room to hide an ex-mobster about to testify in a major trial, Travis and Clutch each try to win a mob bounty by being the one to kill him. Trying to keep things quiet, Nora thwarts their efforts to poison food, blow up the room, etc. The witness eventually ends up fleeing with Michel who thinks he is some kind of a bigshot and the FBI guys were his bodyguards. He takes Michel on a revenge quest through his old neighborhood, but Michel thinks it’s just a typical day of fun.
DESCENT
Glen accidentally pushes a cart of luggage into the elevator shaft, and it falls into darkness below. The crew travels down into the basement in search of it, but winds up in ancient sewers and creepy tunnels. They eventually are captured by a race of subterranean reptilians. As they escape, it’s revealed that the reptilians were just really dirty homeless people living in the sewers, or perhaps mutated by the nearby chemical plant.
SENIOR PROM
When Michel announces the hotel will be hosting a senior prom, the guys get excited about meeting high school girls. Of course Nora thinks they’re gross, but has mixed emotions when she sees one of the football players who’s on the prom committee. After a week of lecherous planning, they discover it’s a senior citizen prom put on by local retirement homes. The high school kids setting it up were only working there as community service.
THE HAUNTING
The hotel starts showing signs of being haunted. After calling in priests and psychics to deal with the problem, it turns out that the hotel’s air source has just been contaminated with opiates that Glen was growing in the basement (or something.)
SWEET SIXTEEN
A bratty rich girl is having her sweet 16th birthday in the hotel. Amid all her demands and extravagant activities, a hurricane hits which takes out the bridge and traps them in the hotel. As guests start dying, it turns into a Clue-style murder mystery.
PANTY RAID
Travis convinces Clutch to go on a college prank style panty raid on a nearby resort. When Michel hears about it, he insists on coming along, and has a very hard time being stealthy. When it turns out the rival resort is actually a mental hospital, they become trapped inside and nobody believes their stories. Glen comes to rescue them, but is also mistaken for a patient and enjoys the group therapy so much that he doesn’t want to leave. By the time Nora files the right papers to get them out, none of them want to leave.
SPEAKEASY
Inspired by 1920s gangster movies, Travis decides to open up a classy speakeasy in the wine cellar. But since alcohol is legal, he decides that in order to give it that authentic feel he should serve illegal drugs. It quickly devolves into a dangerous crackhouse.
PEST-BUSTERS
When Michel gives the crew a large check to hire exterminators for a major rat problem, they decide to pocket the money and deal with the problem themselves. They nearly blow up the hotel by shooting flames into air vents and scare guests by setting snakes loose.
THE NEXT TWITTER
When Glen comes up with a great idea for an app, Travis and Clutch try to get in on it as his partners. The only nerdy guy they know doesn’t want to program it, so they try to get him laid so he’ll help them. They also sneak into one of Nora’s community college business classes to try and meet investors, but just wind up embarrassing her.
TREASURE HUNT
While sword-fighting in the hotel’s decorative suits of armor, the crew destroys an old painting and discovers a treasure map which leads them on a quest. They barge through occupied guest rooms, dig holes in the yard and discover secret rooms. Ultimately, the treasure is something underwhelming.
CASINO
In order to make more money, they decide to convert the hotel into a Las Vegas-style casino. Since they can’t afford real equipment, they make their own highly-rigged games. Meanwhile Lester begins auditioning showgirls and circus performers to put on a grand, epic nightly show.
ORGAN TRAILS
When guests and workers keep waking up in bathtubs of ice with organs missing, they discover there is a serial organ thief among them. Everyone is a suspect.
JURASSIC FARM
Glen starts a secret Marijuana grow operation in the basement, but he forgot that a couple weeks ago he also started growing alligators to harvest for shoe leather. The escaped gators have survived on rats until now, but when the pot and gators become tainted by a chemical leak from the nearby toxic waste plant, it turns the hotel into a stoner jurassic park jungle.
BOUNTY HUNTERS
When a known killer checks in, each wants to be the one to catch him and collect the bounty.
DEAD IN THE MORNING
When a wealthy traveller dies in a room, they try to cover up his death and steal his briefcase of money. Things go badly when both cops and criminals show up looking for him.
MICHEL'S BROTHER
Michel returns one night with a man who he says is his long lost brother. The rest of the gang suspect this obnoxious man is just using Michel for his wealth, and set out to prove it.
UP
They try to steal a tank of methelamine from the nearby chemical plant, but accidentally steal a tank of helium and wind up somehow breaking off a part of the hotel which floats up into the air.
BLOOD FOR OIL
A new Oil rig is going up in the bay that will destroy the hotel, so the crew joins ecoterrorists to try and shut it down.
MICHEL ARRESTED
When Michel is arrested for accidentally committing a serious crime, the guys try to break him out while Nora uses the legal knowledge she thinks she has to represent him in court.
DIRTY INVESTORS
with the hotel being in heavy need of repair Tara brings in some high class folks in hopes of investment opportunity. travis is trying to get with the “hot” one while glen is convinced they are reincarnated worms that are out to eat them alive and keeps trying to get them back into the dirt. but in the end they were just there to steel all the linens.
INSPECTOR LOVE
hotel inspectors show up and everyone thinks they will shut it down but no one seems to care but tara. but tara thinks the inspector is way more interested in her then the hotel and so tara try’s to prepare mentally to put out if it means the hotel doesn’t get shut down. but turns out the inspector is gay and way into glen. and all of sudden glens sexuality is questioned and this spins him into a world of confusion.
NEW LOOKS
travis, out of boardroom, decides to redecorate the front of the hotel with used old pieces of wood and rusty nails. its a “rustic” look that he says is the new cool thing kids are going for. while at the same time glen
was asked to model for a hip, american apparel, type of clothing company. travis gets ultra jealous at the women that are dressing glen and following him around and so travis continuously try’s to sabotage him.
FRIEND MINE
kid of billionaire is staying in the hotel and everyone is trying to figure out a way to be the kids best friend so they can a piece of his money. the kid is the most spoiled and annoying of anyone they’ve ever meet but they won’t give up pretending to like him, as the money is just to good! until finally travis loses it and almost destroys the entire hotel out of frustration. then in the end turns out the kid isn’t rich at all and was just a joke put on to them from the competing bed and breakfast down the road.
DIAMONDS ARE NOT FOREVER
michel’s family sends him a gift, diamonds they found in the jungle in the shape of michel’s face. only tara realizes it’s not legal to import diamonds from his country into the US. so they have to figure out a way of hiding them from the cop convention that’s going on. and not to mention the family that glen accidentally poised to death when he tried cooking his moss soup. end cuz it’s glens birthday he makes the cops get a nice scope of moss icecream with diamonds on top!
WE ARE ALL MORTALS
travis gets electrocuted while he was trying to see if he could get glen to ride the elevator cables like it was a jungle gym. and now travis claims to be back from the dead, and that he is the real jesus and everyone must follow him. of corse everyone ignores him. but this doesn’t stop him from starting his own religious cult in the basement of the hotel. tara alerts him of his not being jesus or else he could walk on water and do other such actives. so he gets glen to set up a series of tests that he fails miserably and he realizes he is not jesus, but says who cares cuz i got my own cult with a bunch of hot ass chicks! but soon he can't seem to control any of them and it all ends with him trying to escape his own crucifixion. |